Although it is easier to live your life on auto-pilot, it can be disastrous if the direction you are heading is not where you intend to go. It can be of great benefit to regularly step back to gain perspective in your direction in order to make course corrections before you are too far down a path that you really didn't want to follow. It is like riding in your car and following a navigation system, which you later realize is set to the wrong destination! That is why there is the "view route" button on the screen. But how do we do we view the route in our own lives? |
Separating the chaff from the wheat
There is an interior decorating technique in which you remove everything from a room and only put back into the room that which you love. From what is left, you can then decide what you would like to repurpose and what to let go of. To some extent, this technique can be applied to your life in a gentler version by taking a step back. You can take a step back by taking a break in your daily routines. It can be done at home, on retreat or to actually remove yourself physically from your typical day to day life by going on vacation.
Take a step back to gain perspective
Taking a step back is a time to allow the daily stress from your life to unwind. It provides the space for your energy and body to rejuvenate. It also provides you the opportunity to take a look at what is working in your life and what is dragging you down. I have found that writing in a journal is very helpful for me, as is merely having fun and taking a break from work. It is also helpful to allow yourself to feel what you need more of in your life as opposed to applying too much brain power and logic. Your body talks to you in feelings which serve as a guide as to whether what you are doing is supportive of your well being or not.
Example: Music and Must
On my vacation to Hilton Head I always enjoy being outdoors, riding a bike, swimming in the ocean and just hanging out on the beach. This time was no different, but it served to remind me to be sure to spend more time enjoying the outdoors after I return home.
My second insight came one evening my husband, Rich, hooked his phone up to a speaker system and found a really nice station on Pandora while looking for beach music. It was not beach music, but had a really nice tempo that was both relaxing and upbeat at the same time. It felt so good and I realized that I needed to play more music that I resonate with at home, as music can have such a healing effect on our whole energy. It can relax and break a stress response as well as uplift spirits when we are feeling down. Music is also like food in that it is best to not eat the same thing all the time but to sense what it is that you need, and find the music that suits that need. Bonus tip: Be careful not to leave the music on the same station all the time because your needs are constantly changing.
As far as what I am wanting to let go of--I am totally done with playing with the musty issue in the front of our house. Before leaving for vacation we had torn out 2 walls in our master bedroom and when we returned, the same front wall in the kitchen was begging for attention, too. We immediately hired the craftsman who originally made the kitchen cabinets 26 years ago to remove all of the lower cabinets. We removed the lower half of the walls. We used a green spray foam to seal the walls, replaced the wallboard and put the cabinets back. We even refinished some of the wood that had taken a beating over the last 26 years and it looks like we have renovated kitchen--all in 2 weeks! Yes it is taking a lot of time and effort, but the kitchen no longer smells. It removed a burden from my energy--both the physical burden of being exposed to mold and the mental burden of concern over how to address it. The bedroom walls are next to be foamed!
My second insight came one evening my husband, Rich, hooked his phone up to a speaker system and found a really nice station on Pandora while looking for beach music. It was not beach music, but had a really nice tempo that was both relaxing and upbeat at the same time. It felt so good and I realized that I needed to play more music that I resonate with at home, as music can have such a healing effect on our whole energy. It can relax and break a stress response as well as uplift spirits when we are feeling down. Music is also like food in that it is best to not eat the same thing all the time but to sense what it is that you need, and find the music that suits that need. Bonus tip: Be careful not to leave the music on the same station all the time because your needs are constantly changing.
As far as what I am wanting to let go of--I am totally done with playing with the musty issue in the front of our house. Before leaving for vacation we had torn out 2 walls in our master bedroom and when we returned, the same front wall in the kitchen was begging for attention, too. We immediately hired the craftsman who originally made the kitchen cabinets 26 years ago to remove all of the lower cabinets. We removed the lower half of the walls. We used a green spray foam to seal the walls, replaced the wallboard and put the cabinets back. We even refinished some of the wood that had taken a beating over the last 26 years and it looks like we have renovated kitchen--all in 2 weeks! Yes it is taking a lot of time and effort, but the kitchen no longer smells. It removed a burden from my energy--both the physical burden of being exposed to mold and the mental burden of concern over how to address it. The bedroom walls are next to be foamed!
Create a plan to implement change
Once you decide on the changes that you would like to make, you need to create a plan and commit to taking action or else you run the risk of returning to your life the way it was and resuming the same patterns as before. It was easier to motivate myself to address the mold since we had already started prior to the trip. But for the other changes I needed to ask myself--what would my life look like if I were to add these items in? What changes would I make? I visualized how I could integrate these changes into my life.
As a result, even though I have work to do, when I look outside and it is beautiful out, I now go outside if only for 5 minutes, and take some deep breaths and stretch. I walk around a bit and enjoy nature. I listen to Pandora music more at home. I really like Pandora because you can decide on what you are in the mood for and it creates a station with similar music. I also committed to adding more movement into my life and am more easily integrating that by dancing to the music!
As a result, even though I have work to do, when I look outside and it is beautiful out, I now go outside if only for 5 minutes, and take some deep breaths and stretch. I walk around a bit and enjoy nature. I listen to Pandora music more at home. I really like Pandora because you can decide on what you are in the mood for and it creates a station with similar music. I also committed to adding more movement into my life and am more easily integrating that by dancing to the music!
Commit to taking action
In addition to a plan you will need to come up with actionable steps to be sure that you actually follow through. If you don't know exactly how to proceed--make a commitment to yourself to move forward by taking a step to get support. Prioritize it. Schedule it. After all, you are making these changes for you and you are worth it.
Get an accountability partner
An important way to be sure that you make the changes that you desire in your life is to have someone who will support you. Many times it is best to have someone who can provide you with objectivity as well. Someone close to you is not always the best choice because they may be too close to you for objectivity or may likewise be invested in an outcome that is not exactly the same as what you desire. They also may not have the skills or expertise to coach you. It might be good to link up with someone who has a common goal as long as you are both equally committed. This is actually why health coaching can be so effective, because a health coach can provide both the objectivity and accountability that is needed to make sustainable change. When working with a health coach results typically occur much more quickly than making changes on your own because of the personal support suited to your individual needs.
Take a look at your life--do you need to reset your destination?
Take a look at your life--do you need to reset your destination?
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